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The Science of Happily Ever After (Book) Review

 
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Page Count: 278
 
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5/ 5


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A comprehensive look at the science beyond romance.

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Lots of charts and graphs - this isn't necessarily a light read (but it is fascinating).


Final Fiendish Findings?

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m sure the same question is running through a lot of minds today: Why is it so hard to find a relationship that lasts? Ty Tashiro, Ph.D. seeks to answer that question for you with his new book, The Science of Happily Ever After. Including comprehensive breakdowns of a variety of […]

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Posted February 14, 2014 by

 
Full Fiendish Findings...
 
 

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m sure the same question is running through a lot of minds today: Why is it so hard to find a relationship that lasts?

Ty Tashiro, Ph.D. seeks to answer that question for you with his new book, The Science of Happily Ever After. Including comprehensive breakdowns of a variety of scientific studies related to relationships, this book gives readers an idea of why we, as humans, choose partners in the way we do – and better yet, how we can break the cycle that biology pushes us toward and make an educated decision about who we want to put our time, energy, and love into.

Most people put more time and thought into choosing the right car or a new appliance than they do their potential mate. Sure, everyone has a little mental list in mind of their “soul mate”, but it rarely goes beyond that. After all, isn’t true love supposed to just happen when we’re least expecting it? The thing is, those traits that we are most biologically disposed to gravitate towards – facial symmetry, a healthy looking body, a similar attachment style to our own – simply are not applicable to today’s life. We no longer need to choose a mate based on their likelihood of surviving long enough to procreate, and yet most of us are still using that intuition that drives us towards a choice based on pure biology.

This is problematic in many ways. For one thing, when these types of choices were important, we and our potential mates rarely lived to see old age. It was important to find a healthy mate and procreate before we die. And yet now, we wish to find someone to spend a lifetime with. It just makes sense to look deeper than those first feelings of infatuation right from the start. That first rush of passion we feel in the beginning of a relationship will always fade – we would die if it didn’t. What often happens is after that rush, we find that the partner we are with isn’t as ideal as we thought. But by then, so much time and effort has put into the relationship that it is hard to just leave. And when it inevitably falls apart, the same cycle simply starts again.

The Science of Happily Ever After is an incredibly interesting book, both for those looking for love and for anyone fascinated by the workings of the human mind. Tashiro uses solid research from a variety of reputable sources to show how and why our current way of finding love is simply disastrous for so many (our divorce rate backs that up all too convincingly). He also gives a lot of information on the most effective ways to evaluate potential partners before you are entrenched in a relationship (your family really does no best), and what types of traits are most shown to contribute to a lasting relationship (three wishes is the magic number).

Whether you’re looking for love this Valentine’s Day, or just looking for a truly fascinating book on the science of relationships, The Science of Happily Ever After is an excellent choice. It’s a well written look at why we, as a society, are so unlucky in love – and how we can go about fixing it, one relationship at a time.


Amy

 
U.S. Senior Editor & Deputy EIC, @averyzoe on Twitter, mother of 5, gamer, reader, wife to @macanthony, and all-around bad-ass (no, not really)