Posted April 2, 2013 by Peter in News

Stealth Child-of-Unwedded-Parents seeking new name

Stealth Not-Bastard
Stealth Not-Bastard

Swearing. We know it’s not mature, it’s not clever, and it gets disapproving looks from our grandparents, pets and employers. So why do we do it? Well, other than it being fun and satisfying of course? It’s always been hard to explain, and harder to resist. But while the worst that happens when I swear is my dog tutting and walking out of the room, that is peanuts compared to Curve Studios, who are having to rename their stealth-platformer Stealth Bastard for it to get a release on the PS3 and PS Vita.

It is probably a safe bet that the problem isn’t with the word “Stealth”, but looking to release an HD version of the game on those systems shortly, and presuming that their hero cannot use stealth to sneak on unnoticed, Curve Studios have instead turned the problem into a competition.

On their website, they are currently running a contest for new naming suggestions – something that retains the spirit of the original, while simultaneously lacking the same level of Old French description. The winning entry gets a PS Vita, a copy of Stealth Will-Not-Be-Bastard-At-This-Point and an acknowledgement for the contribution on the game’s credits. And if the conversion is true to the PC original in every other way, this could be quite a prize, with the original title claiming to be an “unholy marriage of Metal Gear Solid and Super Meat Boy” and getting an extremely good reception from players and press.

Stealth Bastard Deluxe

Stealth Bastard (PC screenshot)

I suspect my competition entry of “****” is unlikely to go very far.

The totally renamed Stealth Bastard is due to be released on PS3 and PS Vita in the summer; the renaming contest is open until April 14th.


Peter can be described as an old, hairy gamer, a survivor of the console wars of the 1990s, and a part-time MMO addict. He has an especial fondness for retro gaming and observing the progressions in long running gaming series. When scandalously not caught gaming, he can also be found reading comics and fantasy fiction, or practising terrible photography.