NRA Teaches You How To Go On A Killing Spree With An iPhone App
The National Rifle Association, concerned that current video games aren’t offering young children enough practice in the art of localised mass murder, have released the NRA’s Practice Range app for the iPhone.
The app features a total of 9 firearms and three distinct difficulty levels (presumably ranging from a sitting target, a moving target and a distant target fleeing for their lives). It also features analogue and gyroscope controls that will allow you to immerse yourself in the experience of aiming and firing a real instrument of death. You can wave your phone in front of someone when you fire it and pretend that their brains have just exploded if you must. Once you’ve got enough practice under your belt, you should be suitably skilled and equipped to dole out a real life killing spree.
If you’re a parent of a young child reading this and thinking “well thanks NRA but my son is only 4 and won’t be a socially maladjusted teenager for another 10 years” then don’t worry. This app has been kindly rated as suitable for the ages of 4+ so your child can practice the aiming and firing of a lethal weapon. Hook ‘em while they’re young, what’s the worst that could happen?
The app also features the ability to upgrade your weapon with in-app purchases. So whether you plan to shotgun, machine gun or sniper your way through your local town, the NRA have helpfully given you all the tools necessary to get the job done right.
At least I assume this was their intention behind releasing the app… given their attitude and attacks towards video games, what other excuse could there be?